How things happen
by invictus4455
Summary: It's hard to lose someone you love when your relationship was never the best. Is there really anyone to blame when things never were able to work out?


_The afternoon was warm and sunny just like the day before that. Summers in Tulsa were always Sodapop's favorite and if he wasn't outside with his family, he was out playing with his friends. The young boy wanted to stay cool, so he sat there on the ground next to the coffee table coloring pictures of birds, trees, and his family, or at least in his imagination it looked like all those things._

_Mrs. Curtis, a beautiful young woman with flowing, long red-brown hair was standing over the child of only three while holding a sleeping baby Ponyboy. "What beautiful drawings, sweetie. How about we put those on the fridge when you finish, hmm?"_

_The sweet sound of her voice made Soda's heart melt with comfort. He looked up at his mother with a smile just to have her smile lovingly back. After the exchange of looks, the front door opened and in came the oldest Curtis boy along with his father._

_Their father was laughing heartedly with his arm around Darrel who was carrying the football. Mr. Curtis looked over at his lovely wife with his dancing brown eyes as he bragged about how far the boy threw the football. "He's going somewhere in life, Momma." His father rustled the boys hair jokingly, "I know it for a fact."_

_Sodapop watched his father and brother joke and laugh from where he was sitting, then went back to coloring once he realized his father wasn't going to acknowledge him or his drawings. _

…_*__**flash forward**__*…_

_Sitting on the edge of his bed, Sodapop was interrupted with his thoughts by Ponyboy waddling in. The kid still couldn't seem to get the hang of walking, but it was probably because all he had to do was lift his arms up and Mrs. Curtis would pick the small boy up. _

_The child looked up at his big brother with a look of sincere confusion. "What's that?" Soda looked down at where Pony was pointing to the piece of paper he was grasping. The report card that made Soda's stomach turn with shame stared back at him._

_Faking a smile to reassure his baby brother, Soda looked at him, stood up, tossed the paper onto the bed, and picked the small boy up. "Let's go outside and play." Changing the subject successfully, the two headed outside to play._

_As they played, Soda noticed their mother standing in the doorway watching. The sight of his mother made Sodapop happy, but before he could wave to her, their father walked behind the woman. A look of shame overcame the man's face. Mrs. Curtis walked away from the door and faded into the house, leaving their father to stand there alone._

"_Sodapop, I need to have a word with you." Mr. Curtis called from the door. Sodapop realized quickly the paper that the man held in his hand; he already knew the talk they were going to have. It was full of statements about how disappointed his father was in him for the grades. __**Be more like your brother**__ was the most common phrase that came out of his father's mouth._

_Sodapop got up and walked over to his father inside the house to hear the same story he heard over and over again. "You need to try, you never try and I don't get why. Why can't you be more like Darry?" There were the words, the ones that struck right through the boy's heart. "Ponyboy's going to need a better idol than you, once that actually does well in life."_

_With those last words, the young teen snapped back at his father. "Well I'm sorry I'm not Darry, Dad. I'm nowhere near Darry, and I ain't good at school. School's not for me, I can't do it, and I do try. And why do I got to be more like Darry? Why can't I stay being me? What's so wrong with me?" Mr. Curtis just rolled his eyes as he huffed at what his son had said to him._

_The man finally looked back at him and spoke coldly, with no emotion, "Because Darrel's better." Sodapop became upset; he wouldn't let his father finish his explanation and walked out of the living room and into his bedroom. He shut his door and fell onto his bed, forcing himself to sleep._

…_*__**flash forward**__*…_

"_We're heading off to the country for a week," Mr. Curtis began as he grabbed the last bag to carry to the trunk. Sodapop stood there with his arms crossed as he leaned up against the wall listening to his father. The man turned to look at the young man, then finally spoke. "Even though your mother and I are going to be out of town, you're still grounded, and Darry already knows this so don't get any smart ideas. Ok?"_

_Sodapop looked at his father whom Darrel resembled more and more as the years went on. He stood up from the wall, "Smart?" Soda laughed ignorantly at his own remark, "Don't flatter me, Dad. We both know nothing I say is anyway smart." With that, he walked off to his bedroom to hear the front door slam close._

_Mr. Curtis and Sodapop have had their ups and downs, but Soda was sick of having to compete with Darry on their father's attention and love. It was a war he felt like he couldn't win. Ponyboy and Darry stood outside and said goodbye as their parents drove off. The two entered the house shortly after._

…

_It's been three nights with their parents away, and Soda was feeling bad for how things ended before his father left. While they sat and ate dinner, the phone rang. Usually the Curtis's wouldn't pick up the phone while sitting at the dinner table, but they figured it was their father or mother calling to check up._

_Darrel got up and answered the phone; he paused for a moment before dropping the phone, causing Sodapop to look back to see his older brother's scared face…_

"Wake up, Sodapop. Come on, we have to get ready and leave in a half an hour." Darry said softly as he shook his brother slowly awake. Sodapop woke up groggy looking around the room; oh, how he wished his dreams were real.

The young man got up with his youngest brother and got dressed. They didn't have tuxes, so they wore their church clothes; they don't wear them much anymore. As Soda slipped on his dress shirt, he heard Steve from the living room talk about how he and the rest of the gang were going to meet them there.

Taking a deep breath, Sodapop looked at his reflection in the mirror and told himself **you can do this**, but he doubted his own words. Ponyboy, walked into the living room and stood there waiting with Darry. The two waited on Soda as he combed back his hair.

Darrel, who was almost a carbon copy of their father, only younger, looked over at Sodapop, "We all ready?" Soda nodded his head having Ponyboy copy his move, and on that note, the three boys headed out the door, piling into the truck.

Sodapop sat staring out the window; the ride was silent. When they arrived at the graveyard and saw some familiar faces, reality struck Darry, causing his to tense up. Ponyboy was close to tears as they walked over to the graves. Soda was too trapped in his thoughts to react any particular way.

As he stared down at his parents' names on the graves, it struck him. The ceremony was quick and tears were shed from all three boys, but surprisingly not as many from Sodapop. No one really noticed since they were caught up in their own emotions, but Soda couldn't help but get angry with his self. Almost as quiet as the ride there, the boys didn't speak much on the way back.

Once home, Sodapop got out of the car, unbuttoned his shirt and stared walking away from the house. The oldest Curtis looked over at the house than back to his brother finally finding words. "Where are you going?" Sodapop didn't respond with words, only a shrug of the shoulders as he continued to walk away.

Soda ended up walking all the way to the park where no one but an old oak tree was. He sat by the tree and looked around, still stuck in thoughts of the past. _"You need to try, you never try and I don't get why. Why can't you be more like Darry?" _His father's voice broke him.

Tears started streaming down the boy's face as he wished for it all to be a dream. Regrets flashed through his head as his stomach turned even more. Sodapop buried his face in his hands as he sobbed harder knowing the last time he saw his father, the had gotten into an argument.

"Why couldn't I be more like Darry?" Sodapop sobbed. "Dad would've loved me more if I was like Darry." Anger and sadness infused as he thought of his self. He thought of all the mistakes he's made, all the trouble he's gotten into, all the classes he's failed and how disappointed his father always was in him.

"I hate myself."


End file.
